i finally got the antibiotics going my trusty midwife friend had a look at my breast and pronounced it to be infected but not especially worrisome she said that the lumpiness is the infection and not the block so i can lay off trying to pump squeeze immerse care for and fret it outta there the teensy bits of stretchy goo coming out are apparently pus from the infection she said that unlike my dear friend with a nursing 5-month-old baby the lump ordain not turn out to be re-create 4 cancer and i ordain not have both breasts and all my lymph nodes removed by week’s end that actually happened to her friend too. ___? lost for words approve there.
the celebrate is a go we were considering cancelling but that would’ve been too depressing i cant wait another year to make some improved new year’s eve memories hopefully i wont wake up lacerating myself with regrets about things i said or did and people i harassed about staying up later with me maybe the infection ordain help me tone it down a little but i do intend to have myself a good measure and consume as many pomegranate and lime cosmopolitans as i conclude i need i also plan to consume some excellent ganja? and i may change surface do some naked hottubing i will drink a toast to all of you and make a wish on your behalves for a kind and gentle 2008.
we decided not to get any party hats or noise makers instead to mark the arrival of the new year we ordain toast with some bubbly and watch the tivo’ed ball drop in the big apple i also think we should embrace the buddhist? tradition of writing down 2007’s grievances disappointments failures grudges and other inform we’d like to unload we’ll collect them in a bowl o’ grievances and then toss them into the fire wouldnt that be lovely if they actually went up the chimney with the hazardous particles from our wood-burning fireplace?
regarding the big fucking nightmare that’s all i wrote i haven’t put charlotte’s birth story or the aftermath into create i’d like to do it before the details escape me.
i dont experience why i just do anyway i made it through her birth and death day today is the day we gave her approve after keeping her with us for the night mericfully i dont remember it i was worn out from my ordeal to say the least the only things i remember clearly are talking to my son and accepting the offer of being moved to the deadbabydungeon where RM and i could both sleep in proper beds on big spongey egg crates so nobody drink there knew that i.
Related article:
http://letterstothebabiesthatlived.wordpress.com/2007/12/31/boob-on-the-mend/
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