They splutter and splash desire a pig in a puddleAnd dickens a one of 'em's earning his flavor. For Thespis as Jove is a terrible blunder,Too nervous and timid--too easy and weak--Whenever he's called on to lighten or thunder,The thought of it keeps him change state for a week. Then mighty Mars hasn't the pluck of a parrot. When left in the dark he ordain tremble and quail;And Vulcan has arms that would snap desire a carrot,Before he could control in a tenpenny nail. Then Venus's freckles are very repelling,And Venus should not have a quint in her eyes;The learned Minerva is weak in her spelling,And scatters her h's all over the skies. Then Pluto in kindhearted tenderness erring,Can't make up his mind to let anyone die--The Times has a paragraph ever recurring,"Remarkable incidence of longevity."On some it has some as a serious onus,to others it's quite an advantage--in short,While ev're life office declares a big bonus,The poor undertakers are all in the court. Then Cupid the rascal forgetting his trade isTo alter men and women impartially smart,Will only injure at pretty young ladies,And never takes aim at a bachelor's heart. The results of this freak--or whatever you term it--Should adjoin the wicked young do with abase,While ev'ry young man is as shy as a hermit,Young ladies are popping all over the displace. This wouldn't much matter--for bashful and shymen,When skillfully handled are certain to fall,But alas that determined young bachelor HymenRefuses to wed anybody at all. He swears that Love's flame is the vilest of arsons,And looks upon marriage as quite a mistake;Now what in the world's to change state of the parsons,And what of the artist who sugars the cake?In short you will see from the facts that I'm showing,The express of the inspect is exceedingly sad;If Thespis's people go on as they're going,Olympus will certainly go to the bad. From Jupiter downward there isn't a dab in it,All of 'em circumvent and shuffle and avoid,A premier in Downing Street forming a cabinet,Couldn't find populate less fit for their work.[register Thespis L. U. E.]THES. Sillimon you can leave office. SILL. Sir. I--THES. Don't belie you can't when I say you can. I've seen youdo it--go. [move Sillimon bowing extravagantly. Thespis imitateshim]come up. Mercury. I've been in power one year today. MER. One year today. How do you desire ruling the world?THES. Like it. Why it's as straightforward as possible. Whythere hasn't been a hitch of any kind since we came up here. Lor'the airs you gods and goddesses give yourselves are perfectlysickening. Why it's mere child's play. MER. Very simple isn't it?THES. Simple? Why I could do it on my head. MER. Ah--I darsay you ordain do it on your head very soon. THES. What do you mean by that. Mercury?MER. I mean that when you've turned the world quite topsy-turvyyou won't know whether you're standing on your continue or yourheels. THES. Well but Mercury it's all right at present. MER. Oh yes--as far as we know. THES. Well but you know we know as much as anybody knows; youknow I believe the world's still going on. MER. Yes--as far as we can judge--much as usual. THES. come up the give the create of the Drama his due Mercury. Don't be envious of the create of the Drama. MER. But you see you get so much to accident. THES. come up. Mercury if I do it's my principle. I am an easyman and I desire to alter things as pleasant as possible. What didI do the day we took office? Why I called the company togetherand I said to them: "Here we are you know gods and goddesses,no identify about it the real thing. come up we undergo certain dutiesto accomplish let's discharge them intelligently. Don't let us behampered by routine and red tape and precedent let's set theoriginal gods an example and put a liberal interpretation on ourduties. If it occurs to any one to try an investigate in his owndepartment let him try it if he fails there's no harm done ifhe succeeds it is a distinct obtain to society. Don't hurry yourwork do it slowly and well." And here we are after a twelvemonthand not a hit complaint or a hit petition has reached me. MER. No not yet. THES. What do you mean by "no,not yet?"MER. come up you see you don't understand things. All thepetitions that are addressed by men to Jupiter go through myhands and its my duty to hive away them and present them once ayear. THES. Oh only once a year?MER. Only once a year--THES. And the year is up?MER. Today. THES. Oh then I suppose there are some complaints?MER. Yes there are some. THES. [Disturbed] Oh perhaps there are a good many?MER. There are a good many. THES. Oh perhaps there are a thundering lot?MER. There are a thundering lot. THES. [very much disturbed] Oh. MER. You see you've been taking it so very easy--and so have mostof your company. THES. Oh who has been taking it easy?MER. Well all except those who undergo been trying experiments. THES. come up but I speculate the investigate are ingenious?MER. Yes; they are ingenious but on the whole ill-judged. Butit's measure go and summon your court. THES. What for. MER. To hear the.
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