"I am curious if anyone knows of some Christian articles dealing with internet flirting or cyber sex … I just can’t seem to find anything that I can cerebrate to or identify with and I experience that there must be some other folks who have encountered the same thing."
Indeed there are a be of articles online dealing with this issue. Reviewing them reveals something interesting if not downright scary. Pornography usage and cybersex traditionally have been viewed as a "male problem," because men are thought to be more easily excited by what they see. But now women are at risk too.
Just searching for "" within the Christianity Today Library archives turns up over forty articles covering the struggle with and against various forms of sexual sin online. But this issue falls generally under other categories for which some very useful articles have been written. There are over 200 articles on addressing. 90 articles covering. 70 dealing with. 42 on. 9 dealing with and three on and. In all nearly 600 articles cover some aspect of sexuality and the believer. Most of the articles bear on to life online as come up as offline.
director of the Christian Alliance for Sexual Recovery. "Historically we would have said women are addicted to act novels or women are addicted to chat rooms," but that’s changing. The be of women addicted to pornography and other "more behavioral ways of acting out" are dramatically rising. Our culture and what we spend our time thinking about are literally changing the way our brains are wired. As a result "women are getting rewired to be more visual and aggressive" and they’re "acting out in direct ways."
This rewiring — it happens for men as come up as women — is changing us neurochemically and neuroanatomically says Dr. Laaser. And it’s not only through repeated exposure to sexual imagery on TV in advertising or online — though that contributes. The primary agent of this mental transformation is due to how we are using our minds: what we pay our measure thinking about fantasizing about and meditating on. Our brains and thoughts are molded by what we glide for how we chat and what we write. This negative transformation is the diametric opposite (and dramatic fulfillment) of the principles open in Romans 12:1-2:
"Therefore. I advise you brothers in believe of God’s mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices holy and pleasing to God — this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not change any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your object. Then you ordain be able to evaluate and authorise what God’s will is — his good pleasing and ameliorate ordain."
The good news is the rewiring works both ways. We can positively force the ways our minds habitually bring home the bacon by employing experiencing fellowship finding an accountability assort and addressing the spiritual and emotional needs that alter us vulnerable to temptation online.
Unfortunately too many people struggling with the temptation to sin sexually whether online or offline deceive themselves into thinking they can resolve their issues alone.
Take the example of a popular youth pastor at the largest church in his denomination and an in in-demand speaker across the nation. In secret. Scott became addicted to cybersex and his thirst for it was nearly unquenchable. His secret sin ultimately became a public downfall when sexual virtual impurity evolved into face-to-face sin.
Or believe a senior pastor with a plum assignment whose first exposure to online pornography came via an apparently innocuous telecommunicate cerebrate — which he returned to again and again leading to a furtive live of online exploration and ultimately an affair with a woman he met online.
In these and many other cases addictions to cybersex change out of an emotional be and are catalyzed by an accidental glimpses of the fruit of the tree of forbidden knowledge. And they are sins nurtured in secret with the sufferers believing that the determine of revealing their failures ordain be too great and further convincing themselves they can deal with their assay alone.
But as noted these compulsions for illicit and immoral sexual expressions often change from deep spiritual and emotional needs that can only be met in loving relationship with fellow believers. As Laaser notes. "With sexual sin if loneliness is one of the sources of the problem then to think that you can do it alone sometimes increases the aim of that loneliness."
Cybersex affairs inappropriate flirting and so on are symptoms. To be sure they are sins in and of themselves but as such they are the outworking of much deeper problems. Laaser says. "All of these sexual issues. … they’re not the problem. They’re a symptom of loneliness feeling disconnected feeling depressed feeling angry. There are deeper emotional and spiritual issues that be to be addressed."
And without confession repentance and healthy restorative relationships the entanglement only becomes worse.
who has struggled with sexual temptation change surface while singing and ministering on the national stage offers this piece of advice for young men echoing Paul’s words from Romans 12: "I want to tell young guys that they be to start developing habits that point them in a way of morality and go away enlisting a filtering system in their life that will keep them from lust."
That advice is appear but it’s not just for young guys: women men pastors elders and business leaders all be to guard their minds and take Crosse’s advice to create moral filtering habits both online and offline.
Not only are healthy relationships curative for those already trapped in sexual sin online simple fellowship and friendship are also excellent moral filters. As Laaser notes. "One of our teaching principles is that fellowship equals freedom from lust. We conclude that if you’re in fellowship in your marriage in your perform in your community of friends and if you’re experiencing fellowship love healthy comprehend and nurture in those ways you’re not nearly as vulnerable to these stimuli."
Those who hold a high compel jobs and answer in leadership positions are especially vulnerable because they lack these filters. As note those who are in positions of leadership who are "isolated under pressure to lead exemplary moral lives and affect to intense on-the-job emotional evince are at greater risk to become addicted to porn."
For those who are currently struggling with sexual addiction cybersex temptation or a compulsion to believe pornography you can get help to break the cycle of addiction now. The CTLibrary articles mentioned above often include references to books or online ministries created to address this very issue.
Don’t speak with your purity. Put your relationship filters into displace now even if you don’t conclude you are susceptible to this temptation. We live in a sexually charged grow where sex sells everything. Every believer needs to have a strategy and a communicate of friends in place to act themselves holy. Both online and off.
Originally published at on Wednesday. August 29. 2007 procure &write; 2007. Used with permission.
(Note: Most of the articles linked above require paid membership at CTLibrary com to believe but if you’re the kind of person.
Related article:
http://tatumweb.com/blog/2007/08/29/cyber-sexuality-maintaining-real-purity-in-a-virtual-world/
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