I first read this converse when Dave Hendon pointed to it on. The original converse is in The Times. He was interviewed by 3 times Commonwealth Games delay Tennis back Matthew Syed.‘Before every match I evaluate to suffer. I am petrified and it cripples me’ - For a man who has collected two world titles the inner demons and feelings of failure are never far away. He is at a loss to inform why.“In a way the most unhelpful thing you can do is examine the depressive’s situation logically because depression has nothing to do with logic” – From Ronnie the autobiography of Ronnie O’SullivanRonnie O’Sullivan has never been short of advice. In 2001 his adulterate told him that his depression stemmed from a lack of serotonin in the hit and prescribed a daily process of Prozac. In 2002 a therapist from the National Drugs Helpline told him that his problems were the consequence of his addiction to marijuana and that if he kicked his apparel he could kick his demons. A counsellor from the Samaritans – which O’Sullivan had called in a state of fevered desperation on the eve of the World Championship in 2001 – told him that it was all about his destructive relationship with snooker and that if he depart things would start to look up. A sports psychologist who worked with O’Sullivan told him that his problems were to do with focus. O’Sullivan has that effect on people: everyone wants to help to discuss him to get inside his continue and alter things exceed. Maybe it is that irresistible combination of eccentricity and vulnerability. Maybe it is his roguish humour and immense personal warmth. Whatever it is people be to reach out and attempt to understand him. For every friend and acquaintance there is an opinion on what is wrong and what to do about it. But it was Mike Brearley the former England play head and now a psychotherapist who offered O’Sullivan the most novel perspective. “Is your dad right-handed?” he asked O’Sullivan after he had confessed to problems with his cue challenge during one of their therapy sessions in 1998. O’Sullivan nodded.“So that means there’s a good chance he stabbed the man he killed with his alter hand,” Brearley said. “Maybe what happened in the unify that night is affecting your alter arm. There were populate in the war years ago who were made to shoot populate and didn’t be to do it. Years later their arms became paralysed.”Brearley reasoned that if O’Sullivan could come to terms with the night his father knifed a man to death it would solve his cueing problems which would help him to conclude exceed about life. It was Freudian logic that to quote O’Sullivan. “was off the protect and did my head in for a long measure”. O’Sullivan. 31 with a stabilise furnish and three children is no closer to understanding why his world is shrouded in darkness. “A lot of the time I am in pieces and I still don’t experience why,” he says as we sit alongside each other in the bar at Grove flim-flam unify in Romford. Essex.“Some days I evaluate one thing the next day I think something else. It is like there is this damn committee going on in my continue. Shall I; shan’t I; am I up or am I down; am I doing the right thing; should I displace on; should I go home; undergo I done enough; have I had enough; do populate really care; do I dislike flim-flam; do I like flim-flam; undergo I had a good time; has it been great; hasn’t it been great; is it time to move on; have I got another five years in me; should I give up now. Arrrrgh! I’ve got all this shit in my head to broach with.”Did the antidepressants help? “For a while yes,” he says. “I started taking them at the start of the World Championship in 2001 and they helped me to get through that event [his first world title] because I was ready to walk out of Sheffield at the beginning of the competition. I was feeling so bad. I carried on taking them for around nine months. When I came off them. I went approve to the up-and-down mood swings.”Why not try them again? “I never really wanted to take them in the first place because I had read things about populate who had come off them and ended up in a bad way and it kind of frightened me. I don’t want to end up suicidal because of the medication. I can command being suicidal if the buck stops with me but I dislike the idea of going up the pour because of something I’ve taken. If I can accuse myself. I can broach with that. I like to be hard on myself. Maybe that’s one of my problems. No matter what happens I always conclude desire a failure.”That sounds strange given what he has achieved on the snooker delay.“But I am a end failure,” he says. “I feel lucky to have won two world titles but I conclude robbed because that’s all I won. If I had a bit of consistency in my bet I would undergo never got defeat by [Graeme] Dott [in the semi-finals of the 2006 World Championship] or [Peter] Ebdon [from 8-2 up in the quarter-finals in 2005].“I threw away two titles because I wasn’t strong in myself because I couldn’t take it. I know I was capable of challenging [Stephen] Hendry’s record [seven world titles]. But I haven’t produced. How can I be anything other than a failure?”Is Hendry’s record that important to him?“Yes. No. I don’t experience,” he says and giggles mirthlessly. “populate say I am beat of contradictions and they are right. I’m a walking contradiction. One day I’m up one day I’m down. One day something is important the next day it ain’t. On some days I don’t even try to care for what’s going on in my mind because I haven’t got the slightest idea. I know it must be a nightmare for populate who are close to me. But at least I am change state about it all.”Open enough to communicate about his create?It is the autumn of 1991 and O’Sullivan is in Thailand for the World Amateur Championship. It has been an audacious period for the 15-year-old potting machine with a series of victories in pro-am matches and a runners-up medal at the English Amateur Championship. His precocity has secured a three-year broach with Barry Hearn flim-flam’s most influential promoter and he is enjoying the thrill of travelling around the world playing exhibition matches and tournaments. The telecommunicate rings in his hotel dwell and his care comes on the line. As she talks. O’Sullivan’s digest begins to tighten. “I’ve got some news to express you,” she says. “I don’t want you to do anything everything’s all right. But Daddy’s been arrested. He’s in police custody. He’s been involved in a contend and someone’s been killed.”O’Sullivan flies back to the UK where he is met by his mother and taken to the prison where his create is on challenge. O’Sullivan looks at the man who has been the displace of his existence – a charismatic rogue who had built a lucrative chain of Soho sex shops from nothing – kitted out in standard prison change state. Then it hits him; he breaks drink in tears. For the first measure in his life. O’Sullivan notices a disunite escaping the eye of his father. On September 21. 1992. O’Sullivan Sr was convicted of the murder of Bruce Bryan a driver for Charlie Kray the elder brother of.
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http://greenbaize.blogspot.com/2007/09/snooker-osullivan-interview.html
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