Why do men and women who seem to have it all seek out physical unions with unsuitable partners who alter them disrespect them and break their hearts when all they be is to be loved?
Feeling loved is essential to a happy healthy life. And while the act of sex is certainly lovely it's not like.. at least not necessarily and seldom at the beginning of a relationship. So why do sensible men and women continue to identify one for the other?
My friend Lorna* is a friendly attractive 27-year-old who manages a make hold on. She has a good communicate of friends and family and an active social life. She is sexually confident and sends this message loud and clear. But rather than attracting positive healthy relationships she seems to be a magnet for every sleazebag under the sun --married men guys with pregnant girlfriends you label it.
that having no-strings sex with these guys empowers her making her desirable liberated and sophisticated. The reality is these encounters always end in rejection which subtly erodes her already fragile self-esteem. She breezily brushes the rejection off saying with false bravado. "I wasn't interested in him anyway," then sets out looking for another conjoin to make her feel desirable and 'loved' again.
Why do men and women who seem to undergo it all seek out physical unions with unsuitable partners who alter them disrespect them and break their hearts when all they want is to be loved?
"Sometimes you hook up and have sex with someone because you feel the chemistry is there," says Alison. "But the chemistry isn't enough to make something more out of a one-nighter."
"If I met a girl at a party or something and I was attracted to her. I would try to get her to have sex with me. Being physical was easier than trying to get to know them. But once it was over. I entangle alone again," says Jay.
Women -- and to a lesser extent men -- ordain use sex as a means of appealing to someone they think they can't attract or direct any other way. Having sex with someone so that they'll desire you or be with you is an emotionally destructive pattern that only leads to heartbreak. Loneliness and desperation cause otherwise rational human beings to act in self-destructive ways as they assay to create emotional bonds and connections with others.
Those battling clinically diagnosed sexual addiction are often at risk of mistaking sex for like. Life for the bona fide sex addict is an endless pursuit of new sexual connections more intense thrills or a more dangerous liaison. Yet on the inside they are emotionally vulnerable fearful of being alone of being rejected and of being unloved. Perversely at the first convey they are entering into a stable and secure relationship the sex addict is gripped by intense feelings of dissatisfaction fear and boredom and the destructive quest for new sexual conquests begins again.
If you conclude that your sexual life is out of control and affecting you in negative ways it's measure to desire professional help. But if you're one of the many men and women who simply misread intimacy as affection and identify sex for like you be to stop what you're doing. Look at the patterns at bring home the bacon in your relationships and alter a concerted effort to stop looking for like in all the do by places.
Related article:
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-p9ZFx4U8dKLGseEKSMyVB.Tr?p=3849
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